Future streets without names
by alaskatrailmutt
Summary: Post series, KuroxFai. Clow, the heat, and a few other things are driving Fai into depression. Kurogane living with Fai, has to leave soon. Fai, keeps trying to leave everything- forever. Two lovers can say forever, but how can someone say goodbye when they've never said hello? Rated T just to be safe.


**All the characters and places first off, belong to CLAMP and everyone else who owns them.**

**Secondly, Hi everyone! Originally the ending was much quitter, but it changed so if you do not like boyXboy don't flame, it just happened unintentionally. As always I edit my own writing, so any mistakes let me know, thanks! Enjoy!**

An impersonal, cold, winter shadow trailed down the narrow brick street. It appeared almost isolate, dejected, stoic, behind the rising sun and the almost lifeless object that was casting the shadow. The progress down the softly contrasting warm morning street, caressed in vivid reds and subtle oranges, was almost a crawl. The movement was choppy and seemed zombie-esk, just waiting for the opening scene of bad disaster. In actuality, it was unfair to call the object just and object, the shadow as just a black unwanted follower, but the man wanted to not be thought of as a man, or as anything. The street was basked in the aura of the morning as none of the clothes-hangers above the street contained todays wash, no venders were bustling, no shouting was heard. The only noise was the birds at the other end of the street, merrily frolicking in the stone rain battered fountain that was as large as the door ways. The object passed in the street passing the round dome houses. At the furthest end of the street was a mass plain of hot wind and sand, this country was famous for both being hot and sandy for this reason, and stretched off until one could see out no longer.

"Oi!"

A voice, from behind, called out to the traveler but, if it was heard there was no indication made by the subject of the call. Again from behind, with foot steps echoing in a fast, muffled cadence, came another call,

" What are you doing you idiot?"

as previous, the object-person did not turn. A third call, strained, more panicked called out, no less enthusiastically,

"Fai!".

This third call, from a different voice, was enough to turn Fai around. The third call by, what perhaps was a type of object only known as Mokona, bounded down the street behind Kurogane, a much bigger object.

Fai, turned around slowly with much deliberate effort, just before Kurogane picked the lone venture several feet off the cobbled, warm, morning gerund by the scruff of his jacket. Opening his usually silent mouth the ninja began to think of yelling,

"What the HELL are you DOING?! You stupid mage, trying to get up and RUN AWAY?! The HELL!".

Or, that's what Kurogane wanted to scream, in hot raged furry, into the stupid blondes face. The blondes face though, was exactly why Kurogane did not reprimand him; Fai had a blank, sad, empty, hopeless look on his face that was more intimidating than Kurogane's words. The expression was more intimidating than any yells could have been, because of the lack of care in Fai's eyes showed no amount of furry would be heard, felt, or taken into mind. Fai hanged limply in Kurogane's grasp, head raised, eyes staring, mouth set in a half frown. The only part of the speech that came out of the ninjas mouth was,

"Whaaa…?"

, before in distain Kurogane opened his palm, dropping the mage on his feet.

"We're going home, come-on."

The capturer lamely finished. Kurogane tried to keep the worry out of his voice, as Fai just stood there unblinking. Mustering a sigh, the warrior inquired,

"Did you HEAR me? Come on, you're going to catch a cold or something."

Thus was the best excuse an alarmed ninja could muster before grabbing Fai's palm and dragging him slowly the three miles back home.

The next day, Fai refused to get out of bed. Perhaps refuse is the wrong term because Fai did not say, "No, I am never getting out of bed, not today, not every", he did not say anything to Kurogane to inquire he was stubbornly not going to face the day. When Kurogane came in to talk to Fai, the mage just made sounds ,"uh-hum" meant yes, "mhn-hunm" for sure I agree, whatever and "m..nhm-nmh", accompanied with a head shake for, no, not happening, to everything Kurogane said. Fai had been like this before, some days in Tokyo, a few days in Infinity, an most often not speaking in Yama, where the absence of Mokona made speech a challenge. This day went something like this, Kurogane taped once while opening the door and sticking his wet, shower soaked head inside began half-to-himself-half-to-Fai,

"Fai? Hey, mage? You up yet or you not here? God I hope you're here! I'm so not looking for you scrawny-"

Stopping, the cleaner of the two, he fully opened the door to the room Fai was laying in. The room was cold and dark and in the corner on the bed was Fai. He was a small mass, swallowed by the sea of bed and sheets, curled on his side. The mage was definitely not sleeping, since hat only happened on his stomach. He laid, looking blankly at the wall, where around him light pooled in the room from the door. The light coming in almost seemed, from Fai's angle, to be coming from Kurogane himself in the doorway, but if Fai noticed this, did not comment. Fai looked tired and defeated in comparison to Kurogane's lively energy. It hurt Fai to look at the ninja and looked away. Kurogane frowned realizing suddenly what was going on,

"Mage, please tell me you're not gonna stay in bed all day".

Fai responded, "mhmn" and shrugged before turning to face the opposite wall, meaning, no I am not, planning on getting up so leave. With all the draw backs the time in Yama had proposed, the draw backs where useful when Fai became overly with holding of himself, in times like this. Kurogane sighed again, before exasperatingly mentioning in a last-ditch efoort to get Fai up and into the world,

"So you're not going to see the kid and Sakura? Today is their one year anniversary, for being together- together. You know in the same place…".

Fai began to raise his head before giving up, deciding the energy was not there even if the heart was, and let it fall back to the pillow and let himself slip back into nonattention.

Three days later there was a knock on Fai's door, a knock different from Kurogane's. Kurogane would knock loudly once, as he opened the door; this new knock, was light a rapped on the wood, once hesitantly and twice more quickly, self-consciously. A small voice called out gently,

"Fai? Are you okay? I'm coming in okay?".

It was Sakura's voice. Fai groaned, he did not want her to make him feel the guilt he would feel once she entered or for her to see him like this, weak, defeated, despondent after three days. Sakura, in her white dress, edged to the corner of the bed before sitting down on it gently, as if it where made of glass. Fai refused to look at her, believe she was in the room. She started, staring at her clasped hands resting in her lap, and taking a shaky breath,

"Hi Fai, you know…I missed you- we all miss you. Are you getting enough to eat? Is Kurogane treating you okay? Fai, please talk to me, I don't want you to be sad and me not be able to do anything to help you. I know this is a…Difficult time for you…but…"

Fai sat up in the silence, a mess of hair sticking out in more crazy directions than usual. He looked away from her, squinting, thinking with his eyes on the floor. Sakura reached out and touched his face, causing him to look at her concerned features, and flinch back about three feet, as if he had been electrocuted. A tear rolled down his face, because he felt sorry he hurt her feelings and jerking away. Fai was down enough, even a unspoken reflex made him a bad person in his mind. Sakura boldly leaned over and hugged Fai, where he sat unmoving.

The next day, Kurogane walked in without knocking, holding a cup of hot chocolate firmly in his callused, ruff hand. Unceremoniously it was set on the table next to the bed, a square dark oak thing, and he flopped, un-ninja like on the bed. Fai was asleep, through all of this, face down on the bed. Lightly, Kurogane moved Fai's shoulder.

"Mage, mage get up. Come-on, get up Fai. Its eleven thirty. I want to do something with you."

Fai groggily and slowly, rolled over to face the ninja with a stare of rejection and cynicism. After a beat of thought the glummer of the two laughed cynically to say,

"no you don't, don't lie".

Kurogane frowned.

"No, Fai-",

He reached out and grabbed Fai's shoulder,

"This is important you need to come. I want you to come-"

Fai snapped, the first comment in the past few eerily silent days from him,

"You just want me to join the world".

"No!"

Kurogane sighed; losing his temper would not help his argument.

" Come-on Fai, you can quit if you don't like it. I promise. I need you to come though…."

Fai barked another laugh before sitting up and half slumping-half-falling off the bed. Kurogane grabbed him and steadied him up right, again noticing the ignored, lone mug.

"Here, drink it. Listen."

The mug was thrust into Fai's hand where it was promptly re-set imminently back on the table.

"Since you're not going to ask, I'll just tell you. Today I'm going back to Japan. With or with-out you. Since that kid…What's his name? At that shop, sent us back here, and the two kids are happy. You don't have to come, but I'd rather you did".

Fai looked up innocently, attention reached, at Kurogane. A tear slipped out of his left eye and trailed down his face, before the mage wavered,

"Wha…why?"

Kurogane, who had been facing the door for the speech, turned sharply and looked Fai in his puffy, blue eyes.

"Because I think people should just ask for what they want instead of making it a game. I'm being direct, I want you to come with me. You have no-where else to go, except travel endlessly with meat-bun, that's fine if that's what you really want, if you'd rather never see me again. If that's what you want, to live here or travel all alone that's fine. Personally, I think you've spent enough time living alone. No, not living, existing alone. Japan is a beautiful country and you didn't see her as she's meant to be seen. Not as the beautiful prize and homeland that she is. Even if she's not mine, she's Tomoyo's, and that's the same to me. I'm leaving today, I'm only asking once, come Fai. Come with me. Come with me. You'd love it there, I want to teach you, show you…"

Kurogane looked away saying this,

"Show you how to live and not just… Do what you should do…What you could do, all your life. What you want to do, for you because you want to. For yourself. Not because someone else wants you to. I'm not the best teacher in the world, the kid taught me that and maybe it wouldn't help , but what good is staying here. I want you to want something for yourself Fai, even if the thing you want for yourself doesn't end up being me or my home".

Now Kurogane looked at Fai instead of talking, Fai opened his mouth but, no sound came out but a sob. Tears streamed down the listeners face. He looked happy, and afraid, and hurt, and small.

So, seeing Fai in a strong fragile, open manner, seeing Fai for what he was; Kurogane did something uncharacteristic. He wrapped his arms around Fai and said outloud,

"Everything will be okay, Fai. Maybe not right now, or tomorrow, or a year from now, but it will. I don't care if it's with me forever, I'm not asking that, just for a while okay? Learn how to be strong enough to let life just happen to you, I'll make sure, I'll try to prevent anything bad… Nothing so bad that you can't handle it will happen when you're here with me."

Fai nodded and few times, sobbing, and the first real words, after five days came out,

"Of course, why did you think you had to ask?"

Fai burred his head into his supporters shoulder, nuzzling it, crying. Laughing and crying, the lighter managed,

"Kuro-sama I'm ruining your shirt right? S-"

Mid, "Sorry" Kurogane put an index finger to the speaking lips.

"Nah, mage, Fai, nah, your not".

Before unthinking, he leaned forward to the beautiful, sad song of Fai and did what he shouldn't have done, but just as unguarded as a melody in that song could not refrain from doing, he could not refrain from. He hesitantly, slowly, looked at Fai, and saw Fai for the first time, to know Fai had always wanted this, maybe Kurogane himself had deep down, hidden inside the notes as an unnoticed interval that, without would made the song less whole. Hesitantly, not afraid but anticipating, Kurogane turned his head to brush his nose along the others, who closed his eyes, exhaling. Before the mage closed the rest of the distance just as slowly, as if time had not stopped but lost any meaning in the two worlds of a mage and a ninja. Where time, knowing and being conscious of every second in battle or spell, did just not matter in comparison to the more real gravity in the room. Fai crossed the distance, savored the distance that seemed to stretch on for more than half and inch, but was an ocean holding all the fate and emotion in the world, all the hitzuen on the planet. His whole body turned slowly, gracefully, automatically as it would have naturally using magic, with-out thought. Kurogane felt, centimeters away, the blondes hot breath, and the tension rolling off into the space that was not-longer seen or important around them. If either moved even a little the small space would be broken, and maybe the spell with it, but Fai knew he wanted something. It wasn't a demanding thought of lust, screaming "I WANT!", but a soft humming glow. There was a small pause but, neither noticed when Fai softly, openly meet the stone-still ninjas mouth. One would assume, the more verbose would apply pressure, would do the kissing, but Fai wanted to be kissed, subconsciously once in his life. It was also, not a noticeable delay on the outside, where time was fluid, but Kurogane, somehow knew all of these things, with his eyes closed and his breath held. Gently he took the top of Fai's soft, pink, mouth and kissed him. He kissed him, like the rest of the world, and the rest of time, and the rest of everything and the universe, and the past did not matter because in comparison to this moment none of those things mattered. Loving Fai mattered. Loving Kurogane mattered. Neither of them had caught up mentally to the kiss, because it was to racing and mind-numbing to catch up to. There was nothing to chase or catch up to anyway. Everything was there on the bed, in the room, in the air, that they could possibly need to run after. Kurogane reached out slowly, unconsciously and treaded his hand into Fai's soft hair, down his neck, down to the bed.

The soft light spilling in from the door, cast shadows along Fai's face, eyes shut with pearls of tears falling down. The two shadows stretched behind them, much like the past, and sat there still and un- harming, even if the light was obscured. The two got up, and went into the light of the day light of the new day was different than the light creating the shadows that haunted them in the past, but was the gentler and more promising warmth of the future.


End file.
